Resisting the Urge to Control

17 Sep

A penny for your thoughts…, originally uploaded by *Gracie.

Photography by Gracie – © All rights reserved

September 17, 2008

Imposing Your Will On Others

The right to make your own choices is a precious one. We grow when we have the freedom to decide our own paths and determine what makes us happy. Yet there are those who are inclined to try and control others. They may be driven by insecurity, envy, fear, or the need for power. These people are deeply critical of themselves in their own minds, and underlying that critical nature is unhappiness. Their need to feel sure-footed and secure is quenched by controlling those around them, whether they are friends, colleagues, or even pets. However, nearly everyone has found themselves imposing their will upon others at one time or another.

Trying to impose your will on others can be tempting for many reasons. You may feel that your way is the best way or that you have a keener insight into the direction their life should be taking. But, in imposing your will, you are indirectly saying, “I want to control you.” Even when you have the best of intentions, others may end up resenting you for your actions. It is always helpful to remember that it is possible to influence people and change their behavior through education or example without imposing your will on them.

If you’ve caught yourself being a bit bossy on a regular basis, make a note of it. Write down what the situation was and why you acted the way you did. You may have pushed a friend to try something new, because deep inside you wanted to try it yourself but were feeling hesitant. Or you may be unjustly interfering with work teammates, because you aren’t sure of their abilities. Next, make an effort to understand and accept their preferences and ways of doing things. It can feel natural to impose your will when you feel that you “know best.” But there is a freedom to trusting others to find their own methods and joys, even when they might differ from yours. Sometimes the best course of action is to step back and relinquish control. You may, in doing so, see everything from a different point of view.

Daily OM


Posted by on September 17, 2008 in Art, Daily OM, Flickr, Gracie, Inspirational, Meditation, Photography


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3 responses to “Resisting the Urge to Control

  1. shotmeter

    September 17, 2008 at 3:59 pm

    I’m sorry, but this Daily OM is entirely unamerican and therefore should be burned. Unfortunately, I cannot afford to replace my computer just yet, so I’ll put the matches away and let you off with a warning!

  2. Gracie

    September 18, 2008 at 12:07 am

    If I suddenly disappear, you’ll know where I am! ;-(

  3. tobeme

    September 18, 2008 at 1:49 pm

    Excellent advice! When we let go of our ego and act from love, we do not feel the need to control or be right. We are then inclined to allow others to find their way, interesting, often times that way will lead back to you or will show you a new way. Great post!


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