Choosing Not To Be A Target

21 Feb

Hmm.. not bad from behind, originally uploaded by *Gracie.

Emotional Attacks

Hurtful confrontations often leave us feeling drained and confused. When someone attacks us emotionally, we may wonder what we did to rouse their anger, and we take their actions personally. We may ask ourselves what we could have done to compel them to behave or speak that way toward us. It’s important to remember that there are no real targets in an emotional attack and that it is usually a way for the attacker to redirect their uncomfortable feelings away from themselves. When people are overcome by strong emotions, like hurt or anguish, they may see themselves as victims and lash out at others as a means of protection or to make themselves feel better. You may be able to shield yourself from an emotional attack by not taking the behavior personally. First, however, it is good to cultivate a state of detachment that can provide you with some protection from the person who is attacking you. This will allow you to feel compassion for this person and remember that their behavior isn’t as much about you as it is about their need to vent their emotions.

If you have difficulty remaining unaffected by someone’s behavior, take a moment to breathe deeply and remind yourself that you didn’t do anything wrong, and you aren’t responsible for people’s feelings. If you can see that this person is indirectly expressing a need to you-whether they are reaching out for help or wanting to be heard-you may be able to diffuse the attack by getting them to talk about what is really bothering them.

You cannot control other people’s emotions, but you can control your own. If you sense yourself responding to their negativity, try not to let yourself. Keep your heart open to them, and they may let go of their defensiveness and yield to your compassion and openness.

Daily OM


Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

7 responses to “Choosing Not To Be A Target

  1. Penseroso

    February 22, 2007 at 12:34 am

    My next challenge is going to be bird photography — and I’m taking lessons from you! This is an excellent, beautiful shot. The color came out very nicely.

  2. ggwfung

    February 22, 2007 at 1:21 am

    Sometimes you just have to put the walls around certain people. Their attitude tries to force it’s way onto you, and it’s a necessary form of defence.


  3. Gracie

    February 22, 2007 at 10:58 pm

    Penseroso, You’ll excel regardless of subject, my friend. I’ve said so many times – you have a gift that most people only dream abought – I can’t wait to see your first bird.

    ggwfung, I agree completely. It’s a defense mechanism that must be used often. I wished I had learned earlier.

  4. Suresh Gundappa

    February 23, 2007 at 5:43 am

    What a photo! Gracie! You are just taking your skills to whole new level. I loved this photo!

  5. Gracie

    February 23, 2007 at 1:57 pm

    Suresh, (((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))

    What would I do without you, my friend? Thanks – it’s been an exciting journey.

  6. Contented Tea

    February 23, 2007 at 9:46 pm

    Suresh, Why do you get all the hugs from Gracie???

  7. Gracie

    February 26, 2007 at 12:43 am

    CTea – ((((((((hugs))))))))


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: